Beautiful Mistake

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 05:38:52 GMT

Where to start... where to start....
To be honest I dont even know...
So much has changed for the best I hope. Ive been dating Chris for almost a year now and Ive been working at TJ Maxx, an ok place to work, for a little over half a year. Christmas was pretty good, I got a promise ring from Chris. I got him a digital camera... but it was just wierd not spending christmas with my family, I did and I didnt...

But now Ive been busy with school and everything else... And trust me I have a full schedule next semester.. I have three classes every day and then I am working at night... so it goes

Internet marketing 8:30-9:00AM
Short Story WS 11-12:15
Biology 1:00-3:29

And then I work 5:00 - 10:00PM

Thats a pretty long day add the 45 minute drive in the morning and in the afternoon from manchester to henniker, then henniker to manchester... its about just enough time to get dressed and go to work lol! Oh well it'll be rough but I can do it. I think.... If i cant ill just have to drop a class and take another one in the summer. No biggie.

BUT I MADE DEANS LIST! YAY 3 B's and 2 A's!

And I have my own car now! Fixed and everything!

I have some pictures I am going to post when school starts back up again! Until then, your all in my thoughts and I love you all dearly.

If anybody knows anything or just wants to chat give me a call 236=9110!
Love you all
~Bethy

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 01:55:07 GMT

That is one motto I wish I could live by...
All the things I want in life...
I guess seem very important at the time, but then when I get it, I realize I didn't really want it anyway...
Either that or I realize that I didnt need it to live my life.

What I want is to know that things are going to get better...
As Serah Carter said "Karma sucks".
And I wish so badly that it didnt.

I could go on with the list of needs the family needs...

1. 2 new cars so my brothers doesnt break down and so my poor mom can have her car back the one that I am using..
2. good health, my dads a diabetic with two bad legs, my moms stress is going to be the death of her... she hurt her back today, her leg is hurting her, shes been having stomache pains... she lost her vision once but it came back when she started to relax.... im worried..
3. ect. ect.

But what I wish for the most, is that selfish people shouldnt get the things we need... or take away the things we already have.

Life is hell, but at the same time it is the most wonderful thing...
They never said life was easy...
But I really fuckin wish it was...

~bethy

Cant wait

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 14:14:56 GMT

Hey Everybody, Right now I am sitting here waiting for a class to start, it has been a wicked wicked long week for me... wednesdays I have straight classes until 3:45 and than afterwards I have to work. And than the homework is sometimes very over-whelming.. plus my boss dissing me out isnt really helping anything... but on the up=side I did see Michelle and Serah this weekend and had fun hanging out with them. I miss you guys soo much and I cant wait to see you on spring vacation!

I might get a new job.. I am debating with myself... its not that I dont like it, its the fact that I am not getting paid on time and people are yelling at me about stupid shit... Its retarded... but whatev. I'll figure something out, I always do, I just wish I had a better job oppertunity. My RA wants me to stay at the gallery and everything, becuase she thinks it will look good on my transcript, but I dont really think thats a very important reason to stay at least not in my opinion...

What do you think?

<3 ~bethy

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 22:08:31 GMT

ugg this is ridicolous, because of the car accident my brother got into.. this girl is saying he owes her 1,400 dollars but they are gonna settle on just 500.00... its ridicolous.. Shes the one that stopped in the middle of the road.. not adam ugg.. i am so pissed... they have to save thier money for thier wedding..

UG! ~bethy

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 04:30:07 GMT

My grades are:

Art and Diversity A- (hurray!)
English 1010 A - (hurray again!)
Voice A
Computer Tech A- (yesss!!)
And than 2-d Design a B-! (WTH!!!)

Haha I wouldve gotten straight A's if it wasnt for darryl being way to critical of my brush strokes.. geez, the guy has like superman vision haha! aw whatev. My grades are AWESOME!

My classes for next semester are:

Writing 1020 (fun haha)
Voice (hurray!)
Art History Survey 1 (umm... *sweatdrop*)
Drawing I with darryl (*bigger sweatdrop*)
Into to Sociology (*hypervenalates*)
Way of science (*dies)

haha! So this semester looks a lot harder than next semester, but I can make it through... i hope.. haha!
I am gonna be working at the art gallery again so the workload shouldnt be too bad.
Its just gonna be a lil busy on my part! I have three classes mon and wed and two classes tues and thurs and two classes on friday... but thats okay, I can make it through..

I am still debating with myself on taking writing 1020 online or not..
~bethy

Adam and Nikki

Sat, 30 Dec 2006 02:15:20 GMT

Hey Everybody,
The good news is that my brother and his girlfriend are now getting married, they got engaged last night, so they are now fiance's! It is so wierd to see how fast time is going by...It feels like just a week ago they were at the dance and they became boyfriend and girlfriend. I am going to be a matron of honor!

I know this isnt about me,
But it makes me feel so lonely and like I am not going to find anybody and I think its because I am afraid and I push people away from me. That I am not sure of. But I want to find that special somebody to love. And hopefully I will find them sometime soon, and if I never ever find them and I die alone, than I will know that nobody could ever love someone like me and it was my fault. On a better note, call me im bored haha!

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 15:59:38 GMT

Hey guys,
This christmas was awesome! The fam. decided to each get each other two presents and it was an awesome idea, especially sense lately my fam. has been kinda short on cash. But I got some really cool stuff! And in January my mom is going to get a new car, so I might be stuck with her awesomely CD player installed happy-go-lucky but transmission is going car haha! Which would be fine with me lol!
For christmas we went to my aunt hopes house and had brunch with my grandma, dylan and uncle neil and than we went to my grandmas apartment to grab the deserts she made, we went to my grandpa's grave site to visit it for a little while and then we went to my uncle erics house to have desert and do the christmas swap.
My presents were: a pink sweatshirt and matching sweat pants from my mom, a happy bunny t-shirt that says "i just dont listen" from my dad and a nail set from my dad, an evanscence CD from my brother, POTC #2 from my brother, earrings and make up from Nikki. Than my grandma got me a black hoodie/shirt and a black shirt and two pairs of those stylish half pants that your suppose to wear with boots, I really like them! And than she got me a pair of sterling silver earrings and a pin that said "my lil angel" on it. hehe! And than I got a gas card from the swap and a 20.00 gift card to TJ max (*where im planning on getting those stylish boots haha*). So overall it was a really awesome christmas. My mom also stuffed some earrings in my stocking, cell phone jems, a wireless headset and three pairs of fuzzy socks haha! They are heaven! OH AND MY MOM IS GETTING MY TICKETS TO THE MCR CONCERT YAY! haha! I am so excited!
The only bad thing that happened is our tree fell over and some bulbs shattered... so that sucked, plus Brandy isn't feeling too good latly so most've the time we have to leave her outside... the poor pup.!
I met a guy named brian whose really cute.. and who knows what will happen right? haha!
I <3 ya all ttyl! ~bethy

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 00:22:45 GMT

<center><embed src="http://toys.myyearbook.com/ctd/viewer.swf?FILENAME=2006/12/19/18/1e059ca3de468b259d7962f4cd1a0922%2Exml" quality="high" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="320" name="CTD" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" /></embed> <a href="http://pimp.myyearbook.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://pimp.myyearbook.com/images/pimptag_150_clear.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"></a><a href="http://pimp.myyearbook.com/toys/ctd/" target="_blank">Get Your Own!</a> | <a href="http://pimp.myyearbook.com/toys/" target="_blank">More Flash Toys</a></center>

Please leave something in my christmas stocking!

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 23:19:15 GMT

Xmas Stocking

leave a gift for angelbaby55

get your stocking

Sun, 10 Dec 2006 01:45:39 GMT

The snowflakes fall to the ground,
Silent and slippery
The healing hasn't yet begun.
There will be no mistletoe for me.

The Christmas ortiments hang on the TV.
I am old enough to understand that they arent for me.
The only money in the bank is for christmas presents,
And the greedy wont make it on christmas eve.

So I hang my stocking on the wall between the kitchen
And the living room where the small Christmas tree sits.
And I wish my family a better life than this.
But what I dont realize, what I dont see.

Is that theres more meaning behind this Christmas tree.
Only one present for each child lays underneath the branchs
Spread out together they look like much more.
I lay out on the floor and look up at the wish the angels will head.

Dear Angel,

I wish for a Christmas with a blanket of snow.
A family whose happy with glow.
A mother whose worries are swept away
A father whose burdens are nothing to say.

And a brother who gets all his dreams need.
And a sister whose smiling so brightly.
I wish for the poor, to have a present to open,
A beautiful gift that none have ever spoken.

And for me, I wish for love on this Christmas Eve.

Sincerely, Bethany.

I close my eyes and go to bed.
I think of happy thoughts in my head.
I dream of a place where fantasties lie.
Where you can be anything you want.

As I wake up the next morning, there underneath the Christmas tree,
was a present that none could see.
A mother standing beside her children
The father smiling merrily.

A family that loved on Christmas Eve.
The mother's worries were swept away
The father's burdens were nothing to say
And a brother who gets all his dreams need.

And a sister-in-law whose smiling so brightly.
The snow fell so silently leaving a blanket
for the eye to see.
And the love filled the room from the top to bottom.
The family appreciated the tree on this lovely Christmas Day

They already had all they needed,
it was an unopened box in the corner of their mind.
For all to find.
The joy of Christmas!

~bethy

Sat, 02 Dec 2006 00:15:24 GMT

I feel the greatest disappointment in the world, not in anybody but myself... How could I still have feelings for a guy that hurt me... he seems to be moving on just fine, so why cant I? I had no feelings for him.. but if thats true than why this? I guess I dont know..

The answer isnt always so clear.. but I feel an emptiness in my heart where somebody should be.. and I can picture him in my mind.. and the guy that hurt me.. isnt him.. I know what I am looking for.. but than why am I letting him hold me back??

Is it because I have no confidence in myself..
I have been a complete bitch for the past couple of days and now I finally know why.. But it just doesnt make any more sense to me than it did when I didnt know..and I am trying to smile and say I am okay.. but the truth is that I am not okay...

I saw him just standing there.. and as I walked past, I looked down... and he said hey.. and i whispered hi.. and just kept walking.. but faster.. I wanted to get away.. and than I drove by him and he just looked at me.. and I looked ahead, I am not looking for a sensual relationship.. I am looking for somebody who loves me and means it. Is that so hard to ask?

I feel so torn..But I will be Ok.. I always am!
~bethy

Sat, 25 Nov 2006 21:38:36 GMT

More than ever

I need somebody right now more than ever..

yet nobody is there to tell me things will get better..

nobody is there to say I will be okay..

Its just me, and I dont even like me at the end of the day..

And I dont want to talk to people about this..

I want to talk to my best friends, the ones I miss..

Or somebody who cares about me,

Not somebody who thinks they know me..

Or somebody who wants to know me..

Somebody who already does know me.

Them, I really miss.

But if I had just one wish.

I would take the pain away.

And just close my eyes and lay.

Because tommorrow is a new day.

One that promises disappointment.

One that will make me see,

I know that people care.

And somebody is there at the end of the day.

Its me.

to my friends

Sun, 19 Nov 2006 20:54:32 GMT

In kindergarten your idea of a good friend was the person who let you have the red crayon when all that was left was the ugly black one.

In first grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the bathroom with you and held your hand as you walked through the scary halls.

In second grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you stand up to the class bully.

In third grade your idea of a good friend was the person who shared their lunch with you when you forgot yours on the bus.

In fourth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who was willing to switch square dancing partners in gym so you wouldn't have to be stuck do-si-do-ing with Nasty Nick or Smelly Susan.

In fifth grade your idea of a friend was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you.

In sixth grade your idea of a friend was the person who went up to Nick or Susan, your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that if they said no you wouldn't have to be embarrassed.

In seventh grade your idea of a friend was the person who let you copy the social studies homework from the night before that you had.

In eighth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pack up your stuffed animals and old baseball but didn't laugh at you when you finished and broke out into tears.

In ninth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who would go to a party thrown by a senior so you wouldn't wind up being the only freshman there.

In tenth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who changed their schedule so you would have someone to sit with at lunch.

In eleventh grade your idea of a good friend was the person who gave you rides in their new car, convinced your parents that you shouldn't be grounded, consoled you when you broke up with Nick or Susan, and found you a date to the prom.

In twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pick out a college/university, assured you that you would get into that college/university, helped you deal with your parents who were having a hard time adjusting to the idea of letting you go...

At graduation your idea of a good friend was the person who was crying on the inside but managed the biggest smile one could give as they congratulated you.

The summer after twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you clean up the bottles from that party, helped you sneak out of the house when you just couldn't deal with your parents, assured you that now that you and Nick or you and Susan were back together, you could make it through anything, helped you pack up for university and just silently hugged you as you looked through blurry eyes at 18 years of memories you were leaving behind, and finally on those last days of childhood , went out of their way to give you reassurance that you would make it in college as well as you had these past 18 years, and most importantly sent you off to college knowing you were loved.

Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the
better of the two choices, holds your hand when you're scared, helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you, thinks of you at times when you are not there, reminds you of what you have forgotten, helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, goes out of their way to make time for you, helps you clear u p your mistakes, helps you deal with pressure from others, smiles for you when they are sad, helps you become a better person, and most importantly loves you!

Pass on to those friends of the past, and those of the future...and
those you have met along the way...[crying yet? oh there's more]

Thank you for being a friend. No matter where we go or who we become, never forget who helped us get there.

There's never a wrong time to pick up a phone or send a message telling your friends how much you miss them or how much you love them.

You know who you are, pass it on to someone who you want to remind.

So send this to all your friends and maybe those who aren't but just
w atch and see who sends it back.

If you love someone, tell them.
Remember always to say what you mean.

Never be afraid to express yourself. Take this opportunity to tell
someone what they mean to you. Seize the day and have no regrets.

Most im portantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today and are what it's all about anyway. Pass this along to your friends. Let it make a difference in your day and theirs.

The difference between expressing love and having regrets is that the regrets may stay around forever.

THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN SENT TO YOU
BECAUSE YOU MEAN SOMETHING TO SOMEBODY.
PLEASE SEND IT TO YOUR FRIENDS AND
THOSE THAT YOU LOVE. GROWING UP,
YOU WILL TRULY MEET THE FRIENDS
THAT WILL LAST A LIFETIME AND WILL
MEAN THE MOST TO YOU. YOUR FRIENDS WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU.

Tattoo or no.. haha

Sun, 19 Nov 2006 07:30:37 GMT

Hey Everybody,

Here are the things I want to do/have to do during break:

1. Re-do two of my english 1010 papers, write a research paper and correct the mistakes in essay #3

2. Take the online computer class excel test

3. Hang out with my family on thanksgiving, we are going to berlin with babuska-grandma

4. Hang out with serah and holly!! (and maybe laura)

5. Go to work on tuesday and saturday.. blah

6. Relax!!

7. Read 150 pages and write an essay for A&D! I kinda procrastinated a little bit.. lol?? haha!

8. Sleep in!!

9. Get some solo's offline for May that I need to sing (If any of you have any ideas let me know right away! I was thinking Billie Holiday??)

10. Clean my car and save some of my money not only for gas, but for car parts haha! Stupid inspection!

Thats my top ten things to do this vacation haha!
Oh I got a cell my number is 464-9031! Call me anytime!
Also, I am thinking about getting a small tattoo around my calf.. its small.. its a little pair of angel wings and on it says live.laugh.love. but always dream! What do you guys think? <3 ~bethy

Crazy-filled head

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 21:09:48 GMT

Can we say sick of college right now? LOL!

I am seriously thinking about freaking out, because I couldnt registar for classes because I had an imagenairy hold on my record and when I finally accomplished getting into the computer to registar, it said that most of the classes were taken. That means that all my classes that I was going to take, werent there anymore, they were full, which means no more people can take them.. which means I get stuck taking the ones nobody is going to be in... luckilly I was online talking to Moriah and we have some classes together, I really hate holds and financial aid offices lol!

Anyways, besides that things have been completely and outterly crazy! I have either had homework assignments or research papers or something out of the blue to do, but its okay, I have been able to keep up with everything and am getting all a's and b's! So it isnt too bad! I am actually making money working at the art gallery which is fun! And I finally am getting paid money in my account.. i'll tell you about that later lol!

So, I decided sense it is november and getting close to december that I should put up lights in my room and I did.. haha! It's very nice looking and I feel like I accomplished something, but on a better note, music lessons are going pretty good and I seem to be fitting into everything really well. I am making some new friends and trying to keep in contact with the old its just been so crazy!

This thanksgiving I am going to Aerol and It should be a lot of fun with my family.. I havent seen Angela in ages! I cant wait! Only like a week left until I am offically on thanksgiving vacation! YES!

Love ya all!
~bethy

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 16:09:00 GMT

<center>
<table border="0" width="375" height="430" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="font-color: black; border: 1px solid black; background: url(http://img.quizgalaxy.com/faded-skull.jpg); background-repeat: no-repeat;" align="center">
<tr height="80" valign="middle"><td width="5"></td><td align="center">angelbaby55's Halloween ...</td><td width="5"></td></tr>
<tr height="10"><td colspan="3"></td></tr>
<tr><td width="5"></td><td align="center">You will dress up as A wombat, despite earlier plans.</td><td width="5"></td></tr>
<tr><td width="5"></td><td align="center">slpkntlogic247 will get you A book that lets you write your own destiny</td><td width="5"></td></tr>
<tr><td width="5"></td><td align="center">lilmsprincess will get you A poorly carved jack-o-lantern</td><td width="5"></td></tr>
<tr><td width="5"></td><td align="center">chibiusa_yuy will get you vanilla beans</td><td width="5"></td></tr>
<tr><td width="5"></td><td align="center">blueeyeassassin will get you A half-squeezed lemon</td><td width="5"></td></tr>
<tr><td width="5"></td><td align="center">lilmsprincess will get you a gummy frankenstein</td><td width="5"></td></tr>

<tr height="20"><td colspan="3"></td></tr>
<tr bgcolor="#000000" height="5"><td align="center" colspan="3" style="font-size: 8pt;"><a style="color: #FFFFFF;" href="http://www.quizgalaxy.com/quiz.php?id=140">'What will you get on Halloween?'</a> at <a href="http://www.quizgalaxy.com" style="color: #FFFFFF;">QuizGalaxy.com</a></td></tr>
</table>
</center>

Sat, 14 Oct 2006 18:05:27 GMT

why are brothers such fucking assholes, especially when they dont live the way that they want to and that they are jealous of you... its not my fault my brother didnt go to college and is being an asshole about it, and its not my fault that my job isnt so good because i am going to college full time and working a few hours a week.. at least im making money ~bethy

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 21:27:04 GMT

hey guys...

lets just say god hates me..

yesterday in the parking lot my car broke down and wouldnt move.. my mom came and got me from the parking lot, we got home and my dad worked on my car..

... and my dad came to the conclusion that somebody is trying to kill me! my air hose, and spark plugs were disconnected and my tire on my right side back and right side front had no nuts, or bolts to connect it.. dad said it was a miracle that I didnt drive that off the lot or I probally would be dead right now.. he said that that was a really good thing.. because I had to go on the highway.. 60 miles per an hour people! Crazy.. maybe God wants to save me after all for some reason!

Well anyways, I am going car-searching and maybe buying a new car, if I can find somebody to take 100.00 a month I should be all set.. and I hate to say it but Ol' Baby Blue might have to get traded in... its the only option at this point...

but let me tell you i am soo paranoid right now haha!

<3 ~bethy

P.S.
I am totally over gordon and now I am moving on..

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 19:05:39 GMT

My car is dead..

It broke down outside the science building and now i have no way of getting to school unless mrs. steiner calls me tonight or my dad somehow fixes my car so it is driveable to at least get to all of my classes on time... which one seems more reasonable.. i have no idea..

Just as if things werent bad enough they just keep getting worse..
I have come to the conclusion that god hates me.

~bethy

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 16:21:42 GMT

Dead.. that is one word that describes me right now.. i need people to talk to... somebody anybody.. i am so tired of being alone right now.

I feel used, still. And I am trying to put on a happy face, but my face is feeling tired of false smiles and nice words.. I want to scream, I want to shout, I want to feel something.. but right now all I feel is pain..

I feel like I am not fitting in at NEC very well.. I mean I know people but I barely ever see them, I see Moriah everyday and Tommy twice a week.. but besides that I just feel alone.

I went to the writting conference yesterday to find out that I am not doing so well.. maybe it is the fact that I have always sucked at writting essays and spelling errors.. it just pisses me off how many essays you have to write a week.. it is CRAZY! lol!

But anyways.. I feel like I am not going to find a good nice guy to be happy with. I am tired of these jerks always coming around and finding me to date. Why cant they go find another jerk to date.. I am so sick of assholes.

Anyways..
Im so crazy busy that I barely have time for myself. and when I do I have to do something, like go run erronds for my mom or for myself, work or do some kind of god-forsaken homework. But I know I need to do this for myself. Even though I keep changing my mind about what I want to do. It is just so fustrating and there are way to many choices out there. Through my life I have always been told I had a good voice, good heart, okay poetry skills and good picture taker.. where is that suppose to lead me too lol!

Ok this is the end of bethanys i hate life rant haha!

Love ~bethy

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 02:50:10 GMT

why cry?

This was the most horrible day ive ever had in my entire life.. and ive had some pretty bad ones... i got to class to realize i was so abset last night i never completed my homework.. and then i started falling asleep because i didnt go to bed until late at night... i was in the shower, cleaning my body off and washing away my tears with the shower water so nobody would notice them... I woke up this morning and felt dead... I walked to the bathroom to look into the mirrior and see what i saw... what only nikki and gordon know about... and maybe chirstina.. I pulled my hair down to hide them and put make up over them... I felt ashamed.. I felt sorry.. I felt stupid.. I felt like things just didnt make sense anymore, like I wouldnt find anybody.. like Im never going to... I just want to be happy.. I thought this pain would end in college, you know? I walked to my job and just stacked cards all day basically, which reminded me of him and then people kept asking how the relationship was going, I just told them that we broke up.. they asked why. I told them. They hugged me and said things would be okay and that was that.

But its not so much pain anymore, i dont think it ever was, its just rejection...BUT IT ISNT HIS FAULT.. its mine for going so fast and just jumping in..without even knowing him first.. I figured that 2 1/2 years of being single was left in the dust..and that the bad relationships were over with... that finally I would have a hand to hold and a shoulder to lean on and a smile to fullfill.. but now my smile has faded and my tears have dried.. and my lonliness fills my heart... my lips long for a kiss thats not here...and I sit here knowing that things will be okay... not crying anymore. not dying inside, but still feeling the endless rejection.......Things will be okay.. and things will work out. Right now it just feels like they wont but I know that they will. And he told me the truth..And thats what I liked... Thanks for that... but

"forgive sounds good, forget im not sure i could, they say time heals everything but im still waiting."

I kind of live by that statement. This is the first time I trusted beforehand and it led me into this..lol... I dont want to open up anymore, I am too scared to.. but hopefully that will go away. I can be strong and I will hold on as long as I got friends and family I should be fine.. but I feel drained of emotion right now and I think I will feel that way for about a week and then the rejection wont be there anymore.. ill be okay!!

"Why Cry?"

I know that now. I get too deeply connected into a relationship especially the first week, it was only a few days but i hate rejection haha! IM FINE NOW. AND SO IS HE. ITS BETTER THIS WAY!

I just needed to get this out on something and the perfect space is myspace haha!

<3 ya all!

~Bethy~

heres a song that i have been hearing like ALL DAY that reminds me of this situation: (except some of it)

why cry?

the panic channel

I've been feeling lonesome
I'm down, don't know what to do
I let you lie to me
plant seeds inside
to see them grow
only to leave them to die

I learned my lesson
I won't be forgetting
I won't give my heart out
without suspecting
why cry
why cry
why cry
for you

I've been lost and finding
out that I've been such a fool
you thought you'd stick around
until the day you found
someone to make me obsolete

I learned my lesson
I won't be forgetting
I won't give my heart out
without suspecting
why cry
why cry
why cry
why cry
for you

I learned my lesson
I won't be forgetting
I won't give my heart out
without suspecting

chorus x2

2:07 PM - 5 Comments

ENTRY FOR TODAY:

hey guys,

Things are going pretty good! I realized that I rushed into a relationship way too soon! I'll be fine :-) The art gallery job is something interesting haha! I had to close today which was alright... its just soo boring! So I was making like video's of the art gallery and recording my voice and listening to the mp3 player yay! I also took some random photos! I am going to get a connecter so I can add them to the computer sometime! Some of them are uber sexy! hehe! I realized that I am absoulty STUNNING hahaha! Totally j/k! I am so single and so fabulous haha! Its a joke between me and one of my college friends! she took a picture of my boobies haha! Okay that totally came out wrong.. she took a picture of the sign on my single and fabulous shirt.. hehe! But anyways, things are okayyyy! I cant wait for the trip to Maine this weekend, to meet some really sweet and cute boys! I hope that they are as sweet as me haha totally j/k again!

"I am currently dating two men, one named Ben, the other Jerry"

LOL!!!! I just love that quote! I ruined my diet... "wait what diet" you know the one where you only eat one meal a day due to the fact that your running around with your head chopped off! Its been crazzzy, I didnt even get a chance to come home to get lunch.. you know the special kay cereal that is UBER NASTY! But hey I already dropped a pants size.. haha! <3 tons! ~bethy

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 17:29:55 GMT

<center><table border="0" height="300" width="400" bgcolor="#FFFFFF" style="border: 1px solid black;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0">
<tr valign="middle" height="40"><td align="center" colspan="3">What do you subconsciously think of your friends?</td></tr>
<tr height="50" valign="middle"><td align="center" width="100">Friend's Name</td><td align="center" width="100">Word Association</td><td align="center" width="200">Meaning</td></tr>
<tr height="10" bgcolor="#CCCCCC"><td colspan="3"></td></tr>
<tr valign="middle" bgcolor="#CCCCCC"><td align="center">Laura</td><td align="center">Bat</td><td align="center">Mysterious, Intelligent, Enigma. This person is hugely alluring to you.</td></tr>
<tr height="10" bgcolor="#CCCCCC"><td colspan="3"></td></tr>
<tr height="10" bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><td colspan="3"></td></tr>
<tr valign="middle" bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><td align="center">Michelle</td><td align="center">Bell</td><td align="center">Someone whom you feel may be dangerous to let into your heart.</td></tr>
<tr height="10" bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><td colspan="3"></td></tr>
<tr height="10" bgcolor="#CCCCCC"><td colspan="3"></td></tr>
<tr valign="middle" bgcolor="#CCCCCC"><td align="center">Serah</td><td align="center">Pearl</td><td align="center">Beautiful and real - you have a lot of respect for this person.</td></tr>
<tr height="10" bgcolor="#CCCCCC"><td colspan="3"></td></tr>
<tr height="10" bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><td colspan="3"></td></tr>
<tr valign="middle" bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><td align="center">Holly</td><td align="center">Lantern</td><td align="center">The person who sees you for you.</td></tr>
<tr height="10" bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><td colspan="3"></td></tr>
<tr height="10" bgcolor="#CCCCCC"><td colspan="3"></td></tr>
<tr valign="middle" bgcolor="#CCCCCC"><td align="center">Tommy</td><td align="center">Wig</td><td align="center">You believe this person to be totally insane. (And they SO are!)</td></tr>
<tr height="10" bgcolor="#CCCCCC"><td colspan="3"></td></tr>
<tr height="10" bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><td colspan="3"></td></tr>
<tr valign="middle" bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><td align="center">Christina</td><td align="center">Zoo</td><td align="center">The least socially-conventional person that you know. (And, consequently, the most fun.)</td></tr>
<tr height="10" bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><td colspan="3"></td></tr>

<tr height="40" valign="middle"><td align="center" colspan="3" style="background: black; font-size: 8pt; font-weight: bold; color: white;"> <a style="color: #FFFFFF;" href="http://www.quizgalaxy.com/quiz.php?id=133">'What do you subconsciously think of your friends?' </a> at <a href="http://www.quizgalaxy.com" style="color: #FFFFFF;">QuizGalaxy.com</a> </td></tr>
</table></center>

umm kind of true in wierd ways lol!

social anxiety

Sat, 02 Sep 2006 18:22:39 GMT

Social Anxiety

by

B.R.B (beth r. bois.)

She hides behind a layer of hair.
As she walks towards the room
Of unknown faces.
A pencil lain in her hand.
Like a sword of destruction.

A broken thought lies in her head.
What if I am not going to fit in?
Social anxiety rips at her heart
As she starts to feel broken apart.
An open wound lies on her mind.

Waiting to unwind
The patience in her hands.
As she waits for what life will give to her.
She opens her heart
And waits for a new start.

An image in her head
Makes her happy,
But it fades again
As the taunting people
Redeem their name.

She looks around at the unfamiliar faces,
One minute of relief as she finds one:
That she seems to recognise,
But they just walk away.
Her eyes look down at her feet.

As she goes and takes her seat.
Her heart closes again
As she brushes hair from her eyes.
Her purse gripped tightly in her hand
As she is done with purpose.

Her knuckles turn purple
As ignorance touches her ears.
She lies back in her chair
And takes a deep breathe.
Emotion runs into her mind.

As the girl starts to unwind.
Her shoulders start to relax
As she pulls her hair back.
Her blue eyes smile at the people near.
Maybe she'll fit in..

At least she can be happy.
This is what she wants.
This is what shes been waiting for.
A new beggining
To a life that has been ending.

~bethy

Fri, 01 Sep 2006 20:32:41 GMT

First day at NEC

It was just sooo crazy.. people everywhere.. confusion, meeting new people. But it was fun. I had a wierd feeling in the pit of my stomache when we pulled up to the parking lot, seeing ALL those people wandering around.. some of them looked lost.. ( i was one of those later on)

We did the normal stuff, me and my mom, going around to the booths, getting my ID, my mailbox number, my parking sticker and my bank account. Then we got my art supplies for two-demensional design! THEY ARE AWESOME! I got this huge thing of 100 canvases and a smaller one (but still big) of 50 in this huge folder type thing! And then I got all these cool art supplies, like charcol pencils, the REAL charcol, paints, spray stuff that keeps your artwork.. umm erasers, clips EVERYTHING YOU COULD THINK OF! It was awesome!!

Then at like 1 my mom and I left the college and went to go get something to eat for lunch and then I had to drop her off and then leave to head back to the college...

I got there and met some really cool people in our orientation groups, took the class photo and walked around, meeting new people. Then I met with my advisor and came back home to moms work because it was all dinner stuff and I already ate so I wasnt hungry.. LOL!

And that was my first day at NEC..
~bethy

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 22:33:19 GMT

some stuff I want for my car..

my smelley thingy

I want this so bad.. attena topper

I love that!!

ya gotta match hehe

car mats for the back seat

liscence plate frame hehe

hehe

haha i love that!

BUMPER STICKERS YAY!

and my car seat covers: